Thursday, August 9, 2012

Things I Learned on Vacation

Malaysia was...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamazing. Period. Done. No questions asked. I visited this little hidden away gem of a tropical country for ten days during the month of Ramadan, which made it even more interesting and adventerous for me as I haven't experienced Islamic culture enough.

Throughout those ten days, I learned quite a bit. Allow me to indulge your starved brains. I mean, it has been quite a while since CAC has had some new material.

1. Bravery has nothing to do with a picture posted on facebook.





As you can see, I was certainly "very brave" when I held this boa constrictor. Even more so when his wee little head started moving upwards towards my own. That sick little forked tongue slithering in and out, tasting my shirt. I held it together people. But the picture you don't see is at night when bats, of all sizes, would come out, darting in and out of sight, screeching with their little high pitched squeals. No wait. That squeal was my own. I would run from cabin to resturant and back waving my arms wildly and squealing because surely, that scares the bats away and protects me from any fluttering winged creature.


2. I have stopped asking, "What's in this?" or "What is this?" I just eat.
What part of the chicken is this? Is this chicken? Is it even a bird? Nope, just give it a sniff, a little lick, and pop it in. Questions and doutbts are for the weak.
Although, I'm still not sure what that piece of meat is on the right.




*By the way, food in Malaysia is scrumptious. Fruits spilling off trays, fresh squeezed juice by the litre, mango vegetable curry that will make you call out for your momma, and all of it Ramadan friendly.

3. I am SO SO happy I know how to use one of these. You have certainly passed into another level of "well seasoned traveler" when you see one of these and assume the position without grimacing. Happy squatting.



4. Rudeness is something that evokes a pleathora of emotions. On initial encounter, I'm disgusted. When it continues for twenty minutes, I'm amazed. When it's over, I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt and tears are streaming down my eyes.
On a forty minute taxi drive from the airport to the jetty, our taxi drive started burping ten minutes into the journey. I was sitting up front (of course) and hid my distaste as best as possible. My friends in the back got quiet and listened. We waited for it to abate. No. It didn't. For thirty minutes, this taxi driver would burp then breathe then burp then breathe. When the taxi stopped and we got out, we screamed with laughter. As he drove away we all wondered how that is even possible, and how can one person have that much gas in them.


5. A shanty restaurant on the side of the road probably has the best food. Forgo the fancy table clothes and trade it for the side of the road place that only has two options.


6. An elephant is not a comfortable mode of transportation. The hair is coarse and their ears sting your legs when they slap you.




7. Try everything. Even if you don't really want to. You'll regret it if you don't. Hold the snake, jump in with the sharks, visit that part of town or that island, and walk away from your trip thinking only about how fantastic everything was. And maybe perhaps that you should have taken more photos.

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