The Way We Drive and Survive

Korea is a country filled with fantastic people. Cashiers at grocery stores are polite and help you count out money, when you have no idea what is what; they offer to help you find your bus without being asked. Most of the younger people in my city practice their English by saying "Hello!" as I pass by and my adult students write notes in Korean for me to give to bus or taxi drivers so I won't get lost. Seriously, Korea is the land of ultimate kindness*. Koreans are the hardest working group of people I've ever seen and are extremely respectful of customers, clients, and elders. They are organized and are diligent at their job.

*Note, there are still mean people in Korea. Don't be disillusioned.


So it is something of a mystery as to what is going on with the roadways in this country. Now, I am not generalizing and saying that all Koreans are bad drivers, because I have seen (and lived to tell the tale) of some God awful driving in the states and in South Africa. But Korea is a land filled with roads and highways where one prays heavily before entering. All travelers call on Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Edward Cullen, whomever they worship. The first ride I took in Korea, on the day I arrived, I had never clutched my seatbelt so hard or thought I was going to die so many times in the span of 10 minutes.

The government could have saved their money and not painted yellow and white lines on the road. Really, what is their purpose? The roads aren't any prettier.

Sidewalks are not just for pedestrians who have chosen life instead of imminent death. Oh no, we are joined by bicycles, skaters, deliveryman* on mopeds, and cars...still in Drive.

*Deliverymen have surely made a deal with the devil as they drive anywhere where there is space, risking life and limb to delivery rice and noodles. In traffic, deliverymen will often drive in between the cars bumping side mirrors along the way. 


Crossing the sidewalk is another time in one's life when it is possible to see his own life flash before his eyes. A traveller crosses himself, looks heaven ward, and then straight up hauls ass across the street. Even as that little green man lights the way, reminding us that it's ok to cross the street, we know he is lying. Cars don't look at the picture show on the side of the road, nor do they pay attention to the light show in front of them. Green, yellow, red. All the same, if there is a person on the road then maybe, perhaps, they'll think about slowing down. Maybe. Perhaps. Old men and women dash across the street begging they won't be hit (no one is safe, age will not deter a taxi driver), mothers clutch their children as they run as fast as their tiny feet can pound the pavement. Making it across the street is like making it to the Holy Land in the Old Testament.

To ride in a taxi is to say good bye to all you hold dear. They love to punch the gas almost as much as they love to punch the brakes. They floor their little car forward only to put, what I imagine as, both feet on the brake to come to a screeching halt in front of a crosswalk. Think Harry Potter in "The Prisoner of Azkaban" as he rides the Knight Bus. Upon entering a taxi, a passenger looks frantically for the seatbelt, rips it across his stomach and pulls it tight. Riding a bus is almost the same experience except...no seat belts, sometimes not even a seat. A surfer on the North Shore has nothing on a person standing up in bus in Korea. I mean, I personally give you a round of applause. Well done. Oh, and usually size has something to do with who you pull out in front of. Unless you want MACK stamped on the back of your car you generally steer away from 18 wheelers and large moving vehicles. Not quite the story here in Korea. Girth and width have nothing do with fear on the roads. Tiny little smart cars are not afraid of some Huge Ass Bus coming their way. 'Fraid not friends.

 It is quite certain, that when one enters the roadways of Korea he is surely staring death in his ugly concrete colored face.