What the Wednesday on a Thursday: Nature Calls

In my travels I have become a connoisseur of bathrooms, or toilets, washrooms, the loo, whatever you may call them. If there is one place that you can learn to truly appreciate a good toilet, it's Asia. I've seen holes dug in the ground, squattys, toilets that smile at you ( who puts a smile on the lid?!), stalls that sing, toilet bowls you have to manually fill up with water and scoop provided once you've flushed, and bidets that I have no idea how to operate it comes with so many buttons. In Japan, almost every toilet I used had a machine mounted on the wall that would provide nature sounds to camouflage your...business.


Below is a step by step tutorial on how to successfully navigate the peculiarities of a Korean public bathroom, don't expect this in your hotel room or restaurant.
These pictures were taken in a bathroom on my university. I swear I was the only one in there. I'm not a creeper. I'm an informant (although that could be dangerous in America right now).

Step one: Grab your toilet paper. Most public bathrooms have a roll of TP mounted on the wall for everyone. This is especially common in small town bus terminals. It sucks when this thing is empty as well as the one on the 2nd floor...and the 3rd. This is why it is wise to always be packing. Your own toilet paper that is.

Step Two: Wave your hand in front of this magical little machine for some causal music. You know, the graduation song, Amazing Grace, God Save the Queen, or Beethoven's 5th Symphony. It is not relaxing to be doing your business when Beethoven is playing, let me tell you. However, the song last for approximately 10 seconds. I personally don't know any lady that can get into a stall and finish in that amount of time. Not a well planned out idea really.

 Step Three: Nature calls. No pictures are necessary here. Ew.





Step Four: Wash your hands. If you have hot water then Glory Be! you're lucky. Then you use...this soap. My parents read this blog, so I won't go into details about how exactly you get this soap on your hands. But if you use your imaginations (you dirty pervs) then you get the general idea. I always feel dirty when I'm manhandling using this...stuff.

Step Five: No paper towels?! "Shocking" said no one ever. No dryer?! Not surprised. If you do have access to a hand dryer then you'll probably have to plug it in yourself. Careful though you man or woman of safety. You've got wet hands there. The most common way of drying your hands? Shaking them. My kingdom for hot water and a hand dryer or paper towels. 

But don't judge every bathroom like the one you see here. Not all are created equal. I squeal with delight when I see toilet paper and hand dryers. When I travel around my expectations are low and my stash of TP is high.

Travel like a Boy Scout, people. 

Always be prepared.