What the Wednesday: Kids Say the Darndest Things

What the Wednesday is back. Finally. That time honored tradition where I give you a glimpse of Korea and it's quirks...er cultural differences that make you go, "what the...?"


Students. I missed them. I actually did. My freshmen uni students and the high schoolers I taught really aren't that different. There are some that I want to just put in my pocket and carry with me they are so wonderful. Then there are some that I want to put in my pocket, sew it shut, and throw into a lake. Today's story involves those students.

Koreans freely express what they think of your appearance and body. Your hair. Your eyes. Hands. Ears. Shape, size, color. Everything. On several occasions I've had older Korean men say something about my height or "big-size". When my friends and I are shopping, the shop staff might comment about how handsome or beautiful we are. It doesn't sound complimentary though. It sounds kinda creepy. We show up. They act surprised. Then with wide eyes and two thumbs up they proclaim that he is "handsome guy" or she is "oh so beautiful".

 I just walked into your store. You're freaking me out.

And then there was today. Today was the real WTW moment. I was teaching my class the phrases, "I must, I have to, I must not", and with that they had to write rules for me. I had given them rules in the beginning of the semester, "you must not sleep in class. you have to buy the book." Now they had to write rules for me. Previous classes had written the predictable rules of, "Jennifer must bring me food. Jennifer must not give homework. Jennifer must give A."
The first student today said, "Jennifer must diet."
You little jerk. I threw my pen at him.
I have a good rapport with this class. We have a great time and they're dedicated to learning. A dream. And then that.
After I threw my pen the class laughed. I laughed. All good fun. But then a few kids later said, "Jennifer must exercise."
I picked up my water bottle and chucked that, and told them they were getting F's. The other kids clapped and cheered.
One more kid said I must not have body piercings. Apparently they don't like my nose ring. And then yet another said something about my hair.

All little bastards.

The next to last student said, "Jennifer must put down the bottle."
I was still carrying around the water bottle ready to launch as a torpedo.

I'm trying to imagine what would have happened if I had told a professor that they needed to diet. Now the kids weren't trying to be mean. That's just the culture.

But I can give them a lesson in culture. Next week: Foreigners never want to hear anything about our physical appearance. Keep it to yourself. Even if it's good. Don't be a creeper or a rude POS and keep everything inside. You weirdo who wears frames with no lenses and high water checked pants because that's in style. Keep it to yourself or I'm coming for you.


Weirdo.