Yesterday, an Afrikaner asked me how my Afrikaans study was going. My reply was, "Dit's nie alkyd maklik nie." It's not always easy. She loved it. Was pure putty in my hands. I adored her praise. She had expected only a simple answer in English. I gave her a full sentence. But the more I thought about that statement, "it's not always easy" the more it rang true to a few things here.
I didn't feel like I was gone for that long when I left Korea a while back. Four months, just four measly months. But everything is different, and folks, it's not easy. I figured that I had done well last year. Not just survived, but thrived. I left Korea on my little kimchi cloud, and flew back on my confident, "can-do", sassy American flag, proudly waving from sea to nuclear threatened sea. I landed softly enough. Was greeted at the airport by two dear friends instead of a stranger. Stayed with a friend instead of a barren room with no sheets. This year would be it. I would be a wise sage to all the expats; show them the makgolli flavored ropes. Ahh, maar, dit's nie maklik nie. Sug. Dat was dom. Humility check. Got it.
My best friend left two weeks into my second year here. The girl who'd been with me since the beginning and done almost everything with, was gone, and I was left to recreate that part of my identity. Then my other friend moved to a different city, then another, then another, until I found myself surrounded by new people. Starting over. Again. Then we play this game of asking the introduction questions, "Where are you from? Where do you live here? What did you do back home? Where did you go to school? What was your major? It becomes mundane and tripe. And that's unfair thinking because you really are...I mean they really are interesting people, and here more so than many places, we have to fight for good community. No compromising when choosing your friends because choices are limited. But then when you do find those solid people you continue the game of figuring each other out. Was that sarcasm? Is she a whiner? Was he being funny or serious? They don't like Lord of the Rings?! That's a deal breaker. For the love of all that's good and holy, was that sarcasm?! It takes a while. It's a process. It's risky and hurtful, putting yourself out there, letting people in over and over again.
Then just when you think the game is making you a little weary, a little glum, you win. You get back into the motions of the game. The game hasn't changed. I have. No new rules. But it is definitely time to change them up. Ask different questions. Yes, it was sarcasm. It's always sarcasm. No, she doesn't like LOTR. Hope they figure you out quickly because you're not slowing down. It's not easy, but you play anyway, because it gets easier. Also, if you don't start to meet knew people, then man, is your life going to suck. Be brave you pansy!
But you know what will be easier this year? Understanding what's being said around me at this year's Hunter's Braai Camp. Ek verstaan jou. Nie meer skinner.
*Note- I just had a wonderful and encouraging friend correct my Afrikaans. Dit is instead of dit's. But I'm leaving my mistake. Humility. Perseverance. Further up and further in, vriende.
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