Yesterday I got into a taxi, told the driver where I wanted to go, gave him the paper with the Korean directions when he didn't understand me, and rode to the radio station. It was raining, it was a Tuesday, and I realized that I had developed a life in Korea. It was one of those moments that slaps you across the face; an unexpected realization that either makes you gasp, cry, or grin. I laughed. The taxi driver flicked his up in the rearview to see if he had picked up a crazy girl taken to laughing at nothing.
When I moved here I had expected to make friends, make plans with those friends, and have a general schedule. I don't think I was expecting to make a life, a little home for myself. As for most expats here in Korea, our stay is temporary. We make friends, make plans with those friends, but all the while in the back of our minds is the thought that this isn't our real life. Our real life is back home in the States, in Canada where our friends are, our families. We left a life that we'll go and pick up right where we left it. Korea is just Korea, a place and time that is short in the length of our lives. It's just a year or two and then we get back to real life. But when did that thought start? I had the "Korea is a break from reality" thought on the plane crossing over here. Hell, I had the same thought on Monday. Why is that we don't really think to create a life here? Because it isn't home? Because we are always foreigners and we could never blend in?
We live in this country, teach during the day, travel during the weekend, and always know where are suitcases are, waiting to be re-packed eight months from now.
But what if life happened? In the back of a taxi on some idle Tuesday, I laughed because life was happening. It wasn't a temporary life I was living anymore. I hadn't realized I was living with a temporary mindset until I was in the back of that taxi. Now, I know I'll be moving back someday. In eight months my bags will be packed and I'll have a ticket to the States in hand, but that doesn't mean I need to live everyday thinking that. I like the idea of becoming known in your community, doing something besides the expat tourist lifestyle, and I've been extremely blessed with the opportunities to make my stay here a bit more homey and less like a transient one. I'm doing things here that I would never have done in the States. Things that make me feel more like a resident and less of an alien registration card holder. I'm working on an article for the foreigner community magazine in Gwangju and last night I was interviewed for community hour at the English radio station. Another NC girl and I were asked to talk about local NC music.
No, Korea will never be home. Never ever. There are days when I call my friends and tell them I'm sick of how everybody is trying to run me over in the streets. But I was also sick of seeing myself in a life that was too transitional. True I've moved six times in two years. I want to be able to live here, in a strange place, and not think about when I'll be leaving. I want to forget where I put my suitcases and not think to myself every time I buy something, "how am I going to pack that when I go home?" It's a lesson I never learned back home and, ironically enough, I'm learning it here. In Korea. Don't live a life wondering where you'll be next, but be content with where you are placed. Thanks Korea for life lesson #83 you've taught me. Lesson #84 is going to be to look both ways before crossing the SIDEWALK.
Life certainly has caught up with me here. So, the reason I've been absent is as follows:
a TEFL course that is sucking out my soul
Seollal- Korea's New Year and largest holiday that left me with a few days off and lots of traveling
my aspirations in becoming a published author means writing an article for the Gwangju News and is taking priority over my blog these days
So please, love me as Korea opens up her arms to me a bit more and gives me opportunities to create a life here.
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