Look Momma, I'm a rockstar

It's no joke Momma, I'm a rockstar. I told you when I was four that I wanted to be famous. I packed my Raggedy Ann bag with my belongings, grasped the front door knob with my tiny toddler fist, and told you and Dad that I was running away. I was going to be famous and since my parents obviously didn't recognize my talent, I was taking off. You and Dad looked up from your books, asked if I had clean underwear, and wished me luck.

23 years later and I'm a rockstar...in Korea. Being a foreigner has it's perks (sometimes not). I've talked about staring before, and it still annoys me. Some days I'll opt not go to the grocery store or run an errand because I don't want to be gawked at. But I'm not just talking about the staring; this is more about the interactions I have had in this country that make me feel super rockstarish. I'm a celeb. I'm famous. I'm a hot mess really. Everything from the crazy fanatic fans to the Koreans who are disturbed by my presence, we all know it's going to cause a disturbance. 

The Crazy Fanatic: akin to the paparazzi 

Those teenagers who are superexcitedtospeakenglish. They shout, no wait, they scream "HELLO NICE TO MEET YOU!" when you're two feet in front of them. Jesus. The first few times this happened I smiled politely and said hello back. Now I just scream back "HELLO NICE TO MEET YOU TOO!" Now, I don't know if the teenagers are just being jerks or if they believe that if they scream then I'll understand, but you gotta go with it. It's a part of the life of a superstar. 

The Shy Ones: 

These are mostly little kids, but can include Korean guys who are famous for being "shy guys". The wee ones will see me, do a double take, break into a huge smile, or look at us as if they can't quite figure out what is so different. Moms usually prod their little angels into saying hello, waving, or bowing. The Korean shy guy does a double take and isn't shy about taking in a good look before moving on. He would probably be completely embarrassed if he knew we see how much he stares, but it's also a big reason I love Korea, so you keep on looking K-boy. My poor guy friends who happen to be with me when I get said attention from kboys. I go all girly and giggly. They slap their hands to their foreheads and shove me down the sidewalk. Poor foreign boys don't get the same attention that the girls do. 

So Sweet:

This group is my favorite. They're the sweet little kids who come up to you on their own and ask you questions, "Where are you from? Do you speak Korean? What's your name?", the guys who say "wow" when you walk by, but then clamp their hands over their mouths when they realize they've spoken out loud, or the sweet ahjummas telling you how beautiful you are and making room for you on the subway. When they speak to you, whether they are four or a college student telling you they like your shirt, it takes a lot of guts. I have the most patience and appreciation for this wee little group. 

You So Nasty: (WARNING: This one is for girls. Sorry boys.) 

Oh the nasties. I have no use for you. Much like the stalkers for the real celebs, this group just creeps you out. I get this group the most here in my little town. You So Nasty is made up of the old men and the horny guys. The old men who stop talking, grunt, and start adjusting their pants when we walk by. It gives me the heebie jeebies just describing it. This group doesn't really care if they're with their girlfriends. While sitting with friends one night at a bar, I had a guy grab my arm and tell me I was beautiful all while his girlfriend held his hand. I appreciate the sentiment, but man have some respect for the girl you're with. This group is most likely to ask to join your group at the bar so they can "practice my English?". I applaud your effort to learn another language and your boldness to approach a group of English speaking strangers, but a restaurant, a small group of friends obviously celebrating something, or a date, is not appropriate place to butt in. 

Something that's really important for me to remember is that, for the most part, if I'm approached then the other person is most likely really nervous and has worked up the courage to talk to me. Learning another language is scary and practicing it with a stranger is even worse. I love having random conversations with strangers. I adore little kids waving at me and smiling at me just because my eyes are blue and I'm two feet taller than their moms. It's not conceited or lack of humbleness. It's me accepting the way a society looks at me (both good and bad) and handling it. Talking slowly with the high schooler who stops me at the MiniStop, bowing my head with respect at the old men and women, and not knocking some guy on his ass because he made some inappropriate gesture or comment. 

'Cause I'm a rockstar Momma.