I did a post last month on stereotypes and how the consequences reverberate throughout social constructs and ultimately shape a society and it's patterns of thinking. What I failed to do was talk about the stereotypes foreigners have about Koreans. It's super easy, while living here, to observe the society, form opinions, and then create labels. For example, all Koreans are obsessed with beauty and obtaining that perfect and ridiculous standard. All Koreans are selfish and think about themselves first. I've had three different conversations with friends, both living in Korea and back home, about these two topics in the past two days. Without even realizing what I'd done, I'd failed. I had drawn a box around Koreans and labeled it.
My friends and I weren't trying to be hateful or make ourselves be the better of the two. We were expressing frustrations we had experienced in a slew of situations lately, situations that happen over and over again. For example, men peeing in public. I don't even want to count how many times that's happened to me. I cannot unsee this stuff people! Sigh. I digress.
Because I do live here I feel more confident in telling my friends and family back home about the underbelly of Korea; what people wouldn't know unless they lived here. Yeah, Korea has a lot of problems that disturb me: their education system, whitening creams, the suicide rate, their lack of proper cheese. However, even though I live here, I don't know every Korean, and in fact my Korean friends aren't like the mainstream Korean. I dishonor my friends every time I say, "All Koreans...". One of my friends would drop everything the second she heard we were in the hospital or needed something. She hates the Korean education system and mourns for her son's childhood wasted in a school study hall until 10pm every night. Other Korean friends fight the beauty standard and accept their differences (darker skin, no double eyelid).
The moment I realized I failed happened yesterday. I was waiting for the bus wearing shorts and a tank top. Sleeveless shirts are pretty scandalous in Korea and I knew this. I also didn't care. I was uber culturally sensitive last year, but after the man peeing in public last week, I said to hell with it. I figure if the men in this country can show their man bits, I could show my shoulders. I stood there, waiting in my scandalous outfit when an old grandma came up to me. She touched my shoulder, smiled, and said, "이 빠다". Something I didn't understand. I smiled and said ok. She kept talking and all I understood was 외국 사람. Foreigner. My smile disappeared. I'm wearing something that's probably offense to her. She touched my naked shoulder. She just called me a foreigner. All these old people think foreigners are bad news to their blessed country. Did she just call me a slut? She did. I know she did.
When I met my friend later I asked her, What did this old lady call me? She called me a slut didn't she?"
"No Jennifer. She called you pretty."
Fail.
