What the Wednesday: The Respect Edition

I've never been much of a stereotyper. Putting people into one category was difficult. People of a different color or religion, sorority girls, fraternity boys, geeks, jocks, who am I to wrap up and tie a person with judgement? All people on this Earth fight some sort of prejudice or assumption all their lives. Even here, another expat found out I was from the south and, no lie, told me, "Your family owned slaves didn't they?" It was not a question, but a statement. Something she had already deduced because of my southern heritage. I'm not sure if outraged can really explain how I felt that night.

I was a jock in high school, but I could also quote The Canterbury Tales in it's original language. My Mom was a sorority sister so I couldn't very well join in when my friends made certain remarks about Greek life on campus. In fact, those people who so easily stereotyped others seemed ignorant and naive, making the whole "stereotyping" such a ridiculous behavior.

With that said, I want to clarify that in this blog, when I refer to an action that is extremely common in Korea (whitening products, bad driving) never includes ALL Koreans. I try to say "most Koreans" when I do my WTW editions. "It's more common here, you'll probably find it happens here rather than any other place, lots of people do that here," those statements may all be true, but it does not, however, include every single Korean on the Korea peninsula. It would be wrong to do so and disrespectful to the people of this country. So, please, do not automatically assume that every Korean is running to the doc's to get plastic surgery or eats Fido every week with kimchi. What I encounter are my experiences, not everyone else's and I will not meet every Korean.

So this What the Wednesday includes a video from a girl, ExpatKerri, who has been living in Korea for about six years and I came across her youtube channel before I made the move over here. She teaches at a university and she did a little project with her students. Love it. Enjoy it.

Beauty In Korea

* Dear Intrigued Readers* This entry would be better suited for a What the Wednesday post, but I have something else in mind that needs a bit of an explanation so, here you go.

I didn't learn how to put on make-up until I was 18. My beauty ritual consisted of taking a shower and blowdrying my hair. My mother hardly ever wore make-up and she never pushed my sister or I to become "girly" or wear dresses and make-up (a fact that I am still very thankful for). Thus my teenage years were left uncluttered from the thoughts and stress of beauty rituals and my meager bank account sang the hallelujah chorus every year CoverGirl went undiscovered. Kamsahamnida Omma! However, during my senior year I fell into the world of eyeliner, mascara, and lipgloss. Even so, through the years I could still fit all of my cosmetics inside a travel-sized bag. I always judged the girls who had too much make-up or ridiculous items like heated eyelash curlers and bookmarked make-up blogs.

But here, in Korea, the likelihood of a childhood like mine is almost non-existent. Koreans are quite obsessed with beauty. I have to admit, I've jumped on the beauty train and bought more make-up in the past 4 months than the past three years combined. Perhaps I'm falling to the pressure. Perhaps Korean make-up is so awesome. Perhaps it's because of all the services (free stuff) I get when I buy make-up. You will never know the truth. Ok so if you look at the last picture...

My entire make-up collection pre-Korea.

Make-up collection as of last night.

Servicesuh!!

In America, we pride ourselves on being different, diverse, and expressing ourselves through our outward appearances. Not so much here. Most Koreans want to have certain physical attributes that will place them in the "hottness" category. It's difficult to live somewhere in which the culture is pushing the masses to look alike or to desire a certain face shape. I'm American. I need to be different! It's how I define myself! Don't label me! I digress.

Here are some examples of what makes a Korean woman "beautiful" in their terms: skinny legs, white skin, long straight hair, small face, big eyes, double eyelids. Ummm, what? Double eyelids? That's right folks. Something I never would have thought twice or ever upon ever considered beautiful...my eyelids. Westerners have them. Most Asians do not. If you're not born with them you can get plastic surgery to rectify the situation. (Sidenote: in my research, South Korea has the worlds highest percentage, in the world, of people who have gone under the knife.) I try not to pass any judgement, but I find something wrong with an (almost) entire society who would go to such great lengths to have something so meaningless. I mean can you even imagine the pick-up lines? "Da-mn! Girl got some double eyelids! Work them girl. I like that."

Girls Generation: A popular Kpop group that are noted for their beauty. 

Eyelid thingamabob to secure the eyelid tape/glue in place so you can create the perfect double eyelid.

Eyelid glue

I was worried about living in a country so focused on outward appearance, so says a girl who always has an elastic on her wrist for when her hair gets in her way. But for me it's not so difficult. My students (mostly men ages 26-55) tell me I'm beautiful or look nice on a weekly basis. Again, why would I leave this country? Most Koreans think Westerners are beautiful, what with their blue eyes, blonde hair, and double eyelids. My blonde friends are the object of many a fantasy here. Meanwhile, us poor brunettes' have to be satisfied with only a stare instead of a stare and slightly ajar mouth.

Story for my fellow expats here in Korea. Yesterday on the subway I stood beside the reserved seating (pregnant ladies, older people) and two ahjummas smiled at me and asked me to sit next to them. After politely refusing I said ok and then a stop later, as one made her way off, she stopped to stroke my face and say beautiful over and over again. If you live in Korea, you would know that most ahjummas DO NOT behave this way. I mean I was having a good hair day and all...

Speaking of beauty, I give Hyun Bin.

Hyun Bin! How did you get down here?! Cheeky fellow...

Good Decision

I've made a lot of good choices in my life: changing my major from Biology to English, good decision, to go solo to senior prom: good decision, to stop being a vegetarian: good decision, and to always carry an umbrella with me: good decision.  I've also made a lot of bad choices/decisions: asking someone to junior prom: poor choice, going blonde: bad decision, aiming for a girl on the volleyball court and breaking her nose: bad choice (albeit slightly awesome too. She was mean.) However, one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life was the decision to come to Korea. Hands down, this decision wins.

During the past few weeks, a few fellow expats and I have talked about how much we love Korea and how different our lives are now and how we may never leave. Sure, there are things we hate/can't stand/never understand/loathe about Korea, but it doesn't over shadow the fact that our lives pretty much rock here. Allow me to explain...

1. Stress
Before moving to Korea I would get, what I like to call, stress headaches. During 2nd period, with my most ridiculous class, I would rub my temple, feeling the oncoming sharp pain of stress. My sister expressed her concern/annoyance with these headaches one day, "Jennifer, you always have headaches!"(There wasn't much concern.) I didn't want to be one of those whiners who always ache and groan. I started to worry that maybe I had a tumor, but I was too scared to go to the doctor.
Two months after coming to Korea I got a headache. I had failed to drink anything but coffee all day and when I reached for the ibuprofen I stopped and thought, "holy crap I can't remember the last time I had to take ibuprofen for a headache. When was the last one?" I couldn't remember. I don't have them anymore. My job and life in general are less stressful. I'm not surrounded by the politics of public education, financial problems, or dating lack of dating thoughts.

2. Money
Money has always been an issue. I'm not rich, nor did I grow up rich. I knew how to budget and how to be frugal, but at the end of the month I was always scrapping the bottom of the fridge for something to eat. I had student loans, car payments, bills, rent, and other things to pay for. There were those terrible moments when I had to call home and tell them I needed help. I am a prideful creature, what can I say.
Now, I don't have a car to pay off, my rent is free, my phone bill for three months was $60, I paid $8 for a haircut, and I survived my first two months on $1000. I'm embarrassed at how much money I have in the bank right now. Not that I really own it. I'm still paying off grad school, so a large chunk of money is sent home each month, but even so, I'm not worried about money. It's the first time in my life since moving out of my parent's house where I am financial stable. Even as a teacher, I had a summer job to make things a bit easier. Did you hear that America? As a PROFESSIONAL I still had to have a summer job as if I was some college student. Sad I tell you.

3. Health
Koreans are pretty healthy. It's no wonder with fast food restaurants not littering every corner. The entire country thrives on being physically active and eating good food. Every time I'm out with my co-workers or Korean friends and we have Korean food they don't hesitate to tell me how that particular item I'm eating is good for this or that. Now it's not scientifically proven and some I don't believe, but I do know it's not bad for me. It isn't covered in butter, oil, and reeking of calories. If it wasn't for bakeries and coffee my weight loss would be much more significant. Damn that sugar.
Also, if you become ill, whether it be a head cold or a hospital stay, it's going to be cheap. On a recent visit to Seoul my friend became so ill that we went straight to the ER. After 20 minutes and $11 we were out of the hospital and pharmacy and my friend had no pain. Fantastic

Quite often I compare the US to Korea either in this blog or in my own thoughts. Sometimes the US wins, sometimes Korea wins. It goes without saying that there are "hating Korea" moments (i.e. crossing the street), and the next entry might be on what is frustrating me at the moment. Maybe I'll get food poisoning from all that healthy food. Who knows. The point of this blog and many more entries to come isn't to pit the two countries together to find a winner. I enjoy showing the differences between them and the craziness that I encounter. I think the point here is maybe to show how I took a chance and dove into the uncertainty. I won this time. I made a good decision.




So, how many of you are packing your bags now?

Tourist vs. Traveler

I hate the word tourist. It brings images of large loud people wearing ridiculously bright clothing; all while they are pointing, gawking, and taking pictures. You know them; they wear white shoes with cameras hanging around their necks, large sun hats settled onto their heads.

I grew up close to the coast in NC along side a highway and every summer the road would become congested with tourists making their way to the beach. They would drive too slow or too fast, and when we would head down to the beach ourselves we would always complain. Never mind the fact that we didn't actually live at the beach ourselves. These people were outsiders. They didn't understand our way of life or appreciate what was right before them. On the way to the beach, did they notice the rows and rows of tobacco or corn that were so beautiful in their symmetry? Did they see the antebellum house with it's once tall proud columns, now gloved in 100 years worth of grime? No they only saw the beach and all it's touristy attractions.

In my travels, whether they be abroad or stateside, I've always hated the label "tourist". No I didn't care to see that tourist hotspot. Instead show me where the locals eat, what places to the locals avoid and gather around instead. Perhaps it's my insecurity of never fitting in. But these past three and a half months (is that all it's been?!) have shown me that fitting in isn't fueling this distaste of being labeled a tourist. (It's impossible to fit in!) I simply want to experience the life, the culture as the locals do. I want to taste their street food instead of going to a Hard Rock Cafe. I want to learn their phrases and join in on their craic (look it up). The coffee shop that nobody knows about-I want to go there. The obscure little hole in the wall shop-show me the way. No, not a tourist...a traveler.

The difference between a tourist and a traveler is simple. The tourist comes to experience the culture, both good and bad, and the tourist comes only to see what's in their Lonely Planet guide book. Now, I'm not saying it's wrong to go see a few of those tourist spots. Drop me in England and I'll head straight for all the literary landmarks that I've carefully planned out and have highlighted on a map. (I am a book nerd after all.) The point is, if you really want to travel to a different country then shouldn't you also want to get to know it's people, it's food, language, fashion, music, humor? You do a great disservice to the country you're in when you all you do is tour the hotspots, eat at "normal" restaurants, and wonder "why the hell doesn't anybody speak English?!" It's like a foreigner coming to America and only experiencing New Jersey. The horror.

Oh. Good. God. 

Now a few of you may be thinking, ever so sarcastically, "uh...Jennifer...how do you blend in in South Korea?" Fantastic question. I don't. But I try my hardest to get to know the country that I live in, this fascinating, enchantingly wonderful country. I listen to Kpop, eat kimchi and like it, make friends with Koreans, learn Korean, watch Korean TV, and dress in Korean fashion. I love it. Getting to know the people here is one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. 

Another question you might be asking is, "Jennifer, if you're doing all this, aren't you just forcing yourself into something you don't really belong to?" Another great question, question asker! The answer: not at all. Experiencing new and strange things is something I love. LOVE. Listening to kpop doesn't mean I'm forcing myself to be anything other than myself. I'm not going to go through life listening to only one kind of music or eating one type of food. We all know that change is one of the only certainties in life and, just like everything else, people change and enjoy new things. I'm still Jennifer, just a bit more of an Asian version than when you last saw her. I am a traveler. My delight is to absorb other cultures and take what I enjoy from each and go into the world with a more global way of thinking and seeing than I did before. It's what I do.

So my plea to all who travel, especially to live in another country, get out of your little comfortable foreign box and experience life. Don't go in search of the foreign community and resolve that once you've found a few friends you're done. Get. Out. Of. There. 

Live.

P.S. Some of you little troublemakers might be asking, "isn't it spelled traveller?" Well maybe if you're British. But, I'm not. Traveler it is.